Reality Of A Stigmatised Mental Illness
Content Warning: Mentions of suicide (statistics)
May is Mental Health Awareness Month, and it’s also Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) Awareness Month.
Borderline Personality Disorder is one of the most stigmatised and misunderstood mental health conditions. But that stigma doesn’t reflect the reality of those who live with it every day.
So what is BPD?
BPD is a disorder of emotional regulation. Emotions are amplified—every single one. Sadness can feel like profound grief. Anger, like uncontrollable rage. Happiness may feel euphoric. It’s not just “feeling too much”—it’s feeling everything all at once, often without the ability to turn down the volume.
It’s knowing you’re being irrational, but feeling like the emotional side is screaming so loudly that the rational voice doesn’t stand a chance. Many people with BPD become experts at masking, presenting a calm, composed face to the world, only to collapse into exhaustion and emotional overwhelm once they’re alone.
It’s the constant need for reassurance. The fear of abandonment. The deep yearning for connection that can so easily be misinterpreted.
One of the most difficult parts of BPD is something called splitting. This is a sudden, extreme shift in how someone with BPD views people they care about, this also can come in affect with things like jobs, hobbies, etc. It can happen when they're triggered, often by something that may seem small to others. When a split occurs, it can feel like the emotion completely takes over, leaving them lost in a storm of confusion, fear, or anger. Getting out of a split is not an easy thing to do in the slightest, and often needs to be worked on a considerable amount.
It’s believed that BPD causes some of the most intense emotional pain of any psychiatric condition. Studies have shown that people with BPD experience chronic, significant emotional suffering—what some researchers have described as mental agony.
Relationships can be incredibly hard to maintain. The people closest to someone with BPD often see the most pain, because that’s where the stakes feel the highest. When you feel things this deeply, every interaction, every word, can feel like it carries the weight of the world.
That doesn't make someone "too much" or "dramatic." These emotions are real, valid, and overwhelming. And while you may never fully understand what it feels like, we wouldn’t want you to—because it’s terrifying.
It’s terrifying to feel like you’re not in control of your own mind. To be set off by something small, and then spiral into a dark, dangerous place. This isn’t attention-seeking. It’s survival.
Unfortunately, the stigma around BPD often means we're met with misunderstanding, judgment, and even rejection. We reach out, hoping for support, and are met with silence—or worse, condemnation.
And the consequences of this stigma are deadly. BPD has one of the highest suicide rates of any mental health condition: an estimated 70% of people with BPD will attempt suicide at least once, and around 10% will die by suicide.
If you’re reading this and live with BPD, please know: you are not alone. You are not broken. And your pain is valid.
If you love someone with BPD, please listen. Learn. Have compassion, even when it’s hard to understand. Just because you haven’t felt it doesn’t mean it isn’t real.
Let’s break the silence. Let’s break the stigma. When fighting for mental health, we need to be fighting for all mental illnesses, not just ones that feel more comfortable.